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Rolling Paladin

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Jun. 24th, 2009 | 01:38 am
mood: anxiousanxious
music: Toad The Wet Sproket - Dam Would Break

When I heard her say "I miss you," I thought of her sitting there next to me, angry and disheveled in the morning's glare, yet not angry because she was with me; A picture mirroring my own disposition. It's these moments, the ones that emphasize the similarities between us, that beg for mercy, and yet I cannot simply ignore what I know my subconscious will fight forever. My dogmatic religion cannot accept it and thus we progress only by a forced suspension of my beliefs. I was never a follower of "forgive and forget," and yet the occasional stirring of emotion is significant enough to make me doubt the tenets of my own faith. And even if they are not disregarded, it fuels and justifies my own pompous self-righteousness, a masturbation which simultaneously disgusts and empowers me. My emaciated ego craves such a thing but knows it will be punished at every turn.

"What is this ice that gathers 'round my heart, to stop the flood of warmth before it even starts? It would make me blind to what I thought would always be the only constant in the world for me. And every hour of every day I need to fight from pulling away. And if my mind could only loose the chain, the dam would break"

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Comments {1}

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from: qataabbe
date: Apr. 15th, 2011 04:25 pm (UTC)

For some reason, I can’t see all of this content, stuff keeps hiding? Are you taking advantage of java?

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